


Too Late To Say You Love Me

by botanicalTJ



Series: boys loving boys [4]
Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Fights, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24578233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/botanicalTJ/pseuds/botanicalTJ
Summary: you made flowers grow in my lungs, and although they are beautiful, i can't fucking breathe. // darry/two-bit
Relationships: Darrel Curtis/Two-Bit Mathews
Series: boys loving boys [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796422
Kudos: 13





	Too Late To Say You Love Me

Their whole relationship was like this. Quick glances, knowledgeable under the surface of saving face for the sake of their buddies. Whispered conversations on payphones in the dead of the night, when the streetlights are buzzing with the effort to stay on. The rare stolen kiss or two when they were finally alone for just a moment. It was too risky for anyone to find out, even their closest friends, even their families. And Two-Bit loathed it. 

He'd seen Darry in high school, seen him with girls hanging on his arms after every winning football game. Every girlfriend Darry ever had, he flaunted like she was on the cover of Vogue. No matter who the chick was, they were a power couple because Darry was Boy of the Year and nobody ever questioned it. Not that they should have questioned it. Two-Bit knew the title was well-deserved with all the work he put into his grades and athletics and student leadership. But he resented each and every one of those girls now, for the sole reason that they got to be shown off and he would never have that. 

It wasn't Darry's fault, of course it wasn't, but it did get under his skin sometimes. More often than he'd like to admit. And it didn't make sense to him, because it wasn't as if Darry wasn't in the same position. Two-Bit had no intention of sharing their secret with his family, not when it was so uncertain how anyone would respond. They were a secret to everyone but themselves, like they had a world of their own. But sometimes that world felt more like being trapped in a bubble, and it weighed heavy on his chest at night and made him feel like he'd never breathe clear air again. 

He'd been thinking about it all day when he was invited over to the Curtis house. Darry's folks were going to the races for a rare date night and the two younger brothers were at some event over at the junior high. Something about a winter festival that Sodapop was forced to chaperone Ponyboy for. He received the call from Darry in the late afternoon and headed over after the sun went down, sneaking through the back door like always in case any of the neighbors had questions.

"Hey," Darry greeted him quietly, even though they were alone in the house and there was no reason to whisper. He embraced Two-Bit as soon as the redhead stepped foot into the house, a rare display of affection considering how little they'd seen each other lately. Maybe that was why Two-Bit couldn't brush off the annoyance that had been plaguing him all day long. He didn't hug back, just stood stiffly while the taller man's arms wrapped around him. He didn't care about subtlety right now, not in the mood he was in.

"What's the matter?" The voice rang over his head, normal volume this time, and as much as Two-Bit knew he shouldn't take this out on Darry, he shrugged the other man's arms off his body without skipping a beat. He could see the surprise and then the hurt in the other's eyes, but he shook his head to dismiss it.

"I'm tired of all this, Darry." Two-Bit walked past him without looking up and went over to the couch, sitting down with his hands clasped between his knees. The words and actions were flowing straight from his mind, straight from his frustrations. He hadn't planned this at all but here they were and he might as well say his piece. "All this sneakin' around, hidin' everything we do... makes me feel like you might be ashamed of me." He looked up to see the surprise on Darry's face, and he figured his own features showed his irritation because the other man seemed to react like he'd been physically shoved aside. He flinched, actually flinched, and Two-Bit couldn't bring himself to have any sympathy for it in the emotional state he was in. "Well?" he pushed further, his face twisting into a near-disgusted look at the silence he was met with. "Is that it? You're embarrassed by me or somethin'? I spent all day long just-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Darry interrupted him, finally locating his words among whatever was going on in his head. It only further sparked the anger pooling in Two-Bit's belly, and he clenched his fists when Darry walked over to stand closer. He stood as well, rivaling the taller man. Where Two-Bit lacked in height or muscle, he made up for in the explosive hotheadedness that apparently hadn't gotten him in enough trouble to make him fix it. He was starting his own trouble now, lighting the match for his own ritual burning, but Darry would be going down with him and that's all he cared about in the pent-up rage he'd been cradling to his chest for so long without telling a soul. It was too close to his heart, and now the fire had melted it away to reveal a black chunk of iron where his love for Darry was supposed to be.

He was mad at the whole world, and unfortunately, Darry was included in the world's population.

"We haven't told  _ anyone _ ," Two-Bit spoke through gritted teeth, allowing his rage to blind him to the pain that rooted the anger in Darry's voice. "All we do is sneak around these days. I mean, I hardly even see ya except when we're with the guys, and you said they can't know either. You won't even tell your family."

"Neither will you," Darry shot back without hesitation, and now the fire had spread, forcing them to navigate the layers of inferno that could very well bring them to a violent end. Two-Bit figured it may be for the best, if this was really how he felt about it. The outburst surprised everyone, including himself, and Darry was making it clear just how unreasonable he found it. "Your mom and sister don't know about us, either, Keith. I'm not the only one."

"At least you got a family," Two-Bit spat at him, tossing his arm wildly in the direction of the photographs on the mantle. Images were lined up in frames, depicting all three Curtis boys as well as their parents in group photos and action shots from various sports games and holidays. The picture perfect fucking family. "My old man walked out and my ma doesn't need to live with her son being a goddamn disgrace."

"Like you're just peachy otherwise," Darry said without skipping a beat, a red tint rising on his cheeks as if even he knew that was out of safe territory. But Two-Bit didn't bother addressing it, he knew he didn't have a leg to stand on here after he'd just ripped into Darry like they were god sworn enemies instead of  _ boyfriends _ .

"It just ain't working out, Darry, I'm sorry," Two-Bit shook his head, and he really was sorry even if the words came out without a drop of sincerity to be heard. He was sorry for a lot of things, and this conversation was hardly at the top of the list. But maybe it was the easiest to express. "I'm sick of you puttin' me on the back burner all the time. You oughta be able to admit your feelings for me, if you care enough."

Darry's face went through every expected emotion: shock, then anger, then sadness. But Two-Bit wasn't prepared for the sheer pain reflected on his now-ex's features, the way his heartache was displayed on his sleeve for the whole world to see if anyone else were to look at him. It only lasted a few terrible moments before Darry's nostrils flared and then his face was stony, emotionless, like a slate wiped clean. "If that's what you want," he said evenly, and he showed Two-Bit the dignity of looking him in the eye before he turned right around and marched down the hall.

The bedroom door slammed shut.

* * *

  
  


Two-Bit was stretched out on the couch, a sitcom flashing in greyscale on the television screen. Taking time to cool off before he left had turned into the inevitable regret hitting him like a brick in the chest, and now it had been an hour and Darry still had not left his room. Two-Bit felt too guilty, felt too much like a coward to go in there after he'd been the one to pick a fight for no damn good reason. He was mad at himself, but the feeling didn't even come close to how sorry he was. He was very, very sorry, and now he would have to wait for the chance to tell Darry. If that chance ever came. Maybe heartbreak was one of those feelings where all you did was crawl in bed and go right to sleep. Two-Bit was ashamed that even he didn't know what it was like, and now Darry did because of him.

The knock on the door came at a quarter to ten. Two-Bit was inclined to let whoever it was stand on the doorstep all night, it wasn't his house after all, but a glance at the window made his heart leap into his throat. Red and blue flashing lights hit the glass and hurt his eyes to look at. He scrambled to his feet and made a beeline for the hallway without a moment's hesitation, his fist pounding on the door extra loud in case Darry really was asleep.

Darry yanked the door open after just a few knocks and stood there, clearly worn out and not at all happy with what he saw. "What are you still here for?" he huffed, and all Two-Bit could do was point towards the living room. He stepped back to let Darry look around the corner, and then he stepped back again to avoid being knocked aside in the haste to get to the front door. An anchor sunk deep in his gut with the intuition that something was very, very wrong.

The police officers that stood on the other side of the door spoke quietly, solemn looks on their faces, and Two-Bit followed Darry's footsteps like a zombie just to hear the middle of the conversation. "...The car's totaled, son. They were pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital. I'm sorry."

And Two-Bit watched Darry's spine straighten, his shoulders stiffen, his jaw set itself so tight that no semblance of emotion could leave his lips without clear permission. He watched Darry Curtis turn to stone from the inside out.

"We'll need you to come with us to the station," the officers continued in the same breath, like they hadn't just delivered the news that would ruin three people's entire lives. "There's paperwork for the head of the household. That's you."

Darry gave a short little nod, and then he turned towards the hallway, only half a moment's surprise on his face when he saw Two-Bit standing there. The expression was fleeting and he walked boldly right by, grabbing a jacket from the hall closet. When the officers stepped out of the doorway to head back to their car, Two-Bit reached out, his fingers hooking around Darry's wrist. "Wait," he breathed, fighting to speak through the wave of sickness that had gripped his body from the moment he heard the cops speak. "Darry, I-I'm sorry. Please." He swallowed dryly, inhaling a shaking breath. "I love you." The words spilled from his mouth like something he couldn't digest and all he wanted was to penetrate the rock-solid shield he'd watched go up around Darry's mind with his very eyes. 

But Darry yanked his arm away, and once again, their eyes met for just a moment before Two-Bit couldn't stand to look at what had become of the soul that used to be reflected in them. Now it was just ice, cold blue ice that froze Two-Bit's own heart to look at. "Do you?" came the whispered response, piercing his eardrums like pins and needles. Darry hung the question in the air and walked swiftly away. 

Once again, the door slammed shut, and Two-Bit was alone.


End file.
